Last night was hard. First off this week is c.r.a.w.l.i.n.g. by – and I had to tell the owner of my company why I was leaving. It was a very pleasant conversation and he wished me well, but at the end it went something like this:
Me: “Yes I’m excited, lots of things going on — planning a wedding, moving in with my fiance and starting a new job” (with beaming smile)
President of el trabajo: “That is exciting, but you know some may say you shouldn’t do all of those things in the same year.”
Enter — crazy over analyzing and becoming upset on the train ride home!! Although I didn’t point out that the wedding is actually NEXT year, so maybe I’m okay?
So how does this all translate to my 4HB and all or nothing mentality? Well when I got off the train I decided to do some browsing at HomeGoods to make everything a bit more real, like it was actually going to happen. Nothing particularly caught my eye. Leaving there I was hungry and cranky — I think Hangry is the word used on the blog world? I stopped at Market Basket for some trail mix. (mistake #1). Tim Ferris warns of “domino foods”, foods that once you begin to eat you probably can’t just have one serving- domino foods can be different for different people but come on who can have one serving of trail mix? Righttt. So there was some snackage. And then I got home and all I could think to make for dinner was, eggs, cereal, or heat up some pizza. The pizza won. (mistake #2). The snowball grew…and I had a pumpkin muffin for dessert and maybe some frosted miniwheats? (mistake 3 & 4). Ugh.
Going to bed I was frustrated. I was frustrated with myself for on the night of day 3 (DAY 3!) of the 4 hour body lifestyle, I lost my willpower. I was feeling so good, I convinced myself that I could actually feel the proteins and the veggies and the beans working their magic. Then thoughts about the April Challenge came into mind. I have one more day (today) before militant lifestyle begins, and my sister and I are notorious for treating this as your last day to eat day. I explained this to Bill and he suggested I had Crystal Light (on my last day)…more angry….or a donut if I really felt that way…gross I don’t like those. When he put it that way I felt even more ridiculous that I have created this “need” for something sweet and bad for me.
So how has this actually played out? I did grab some trail mix for the drive into work. And then I began dreaming of having my last “bagelville” bagel — because obviously once I leave my job bagels will cease to exist– I began justifying me getting one. Well I’m happy to say I did NOT get the bagel. I had my 2 hardboiled eggs. I’m going to treat this like any other day living 4HB – not my last day to eat food. Yesterday will become my “re-feed” day.
This was long, whiny and annoying, but you’re not going to find any apologies here. I’m going to do this thing!